I'm going to get my gun!
by Vega62a
Summary: Half songfic, half selfmockery. This is something I thought up based on what happens after the end of chapter 7 in my other fic, Resolutions. Rated M for LANGUAGE. Nothing to be taken seriously. Edited to make it longer and complete the song! Reread if y


A/N

This is a parody of what chapter 8 of Resolution is going to be nothing like. Basically, I made this up entirely. I don't own the song, though.

Purely for amusement. Don't think about it as anything other.

--

_This motherfucker's talking that shit / naw, fuck that, I'll be right back (I'm going to get my gun) naw motherfucker / fuck you / you ain't disrespecting me like that (I'm going to get my gun) walk through the room / 16 shot clip / BITCH / how you like that? (I'm going to get my gun) bet you ain't know that I'm strapped / nice gun / BITCH / this is my gat (I'm going to get my gun) _

Chapter 7.69

I'm going to get my gun

"I'm going to get my gun."

Midori and Reito were verily shocked. Neither of them knew quite what to say, so Natsuki took the initiative herself and started stalking off towards where their car was parked, only a few hundred yards away.

It should be noted that even for ex-HiMEs, guns were a relatively unknown thing. Guns were illegal in Japan, and thus, a cause for some alarm. Reito recovered first, likely due to his less-inebriated state in comparison to Midori. He ran to catch up with Natsuki.

"This motherfucker wants to disrespect me?" Natsuki was muttering angrily; she sounded half-insane at that moment, and half-drunk, though she was, in actuality, neither.

"Natsuki!" Reito shouted, still alarmed. "Natsuki, what the fuck you doin', man?"

"I got somethin' for his ass," Natsuki muttered. "I got somethin' for his ass."

Now Midori was running to catch them; she did so easily. "Calm down, Natsuki; calm down!"

"No," Natsuki shot back, "_you _calm down!"

"Man," Reito said as they arrived at the van, grabbing Natsuki about the shoulders, "what's your problem?"

"Hey, _fuck _that," Natsuki snapped. "That motherfucker wants to pop shit to me?"

"Wh—what motherfucker? He wasn't poppin' shit!" Midori said as Natsuki bashed on the door to the van. Finding it locked, she took three seconds to stare at it in warning, and then ripped her shirt off in front of the two of them, covered her elbow with it, and shattered the driver's side window. Reito stared in awe for a few seconds before recovering himself, and Midori sighed in defeat. She had the keys in her pocket.

"He was poppin' that shit!" she screamed as the shards fell to the ground. She stepped on one of them.

"What shit?"

"_That _shit!" she opened the van from the inside. "You heard him!"

She flung the door open, and found a townie staring at her—she was, after all, shirtless, and very, very pretty. Engulfed in what Midori and Reito would later refer to as a bloodrage, she abandoned her task for a moment, charged the man, and drop-kicked him in a single motion.

She slid back into her shirt and returned to the van, and Midori grimaced. "Natsuki, he asked for your_ autograph._" She pulled the keys out of her purse, resigned to her fate—if she didn't drive her, Natsuki would run it and probably die of exhaustion, if there was any truth to her words at all. And Natsuki wasn't the type to joke about something about this.

Natsuki snatched the keys out of Midori's hand and smashed them into the ignition, turned it on. Apparently, she _did _know how to drive stick. Midori and Reito jumped into the car, and Natsuki tore off before they could even shut their doors.

--

"Natsuki…" Midori had a chance to begin before Natsuki started speaking. It was noteworthy that she was driving at 80 miles per hour in a conversion van down a small town's main drag.

"I'm a mass murderer," Natsuki muttered, "My pack burners blast further than he can get. My shit be shooting through bricks."

"What are you—"

"I'd mix anything together, I'd done guillotine a—"

"NATSUKI! WATCH IT!"

Natsuki swerved, barely in time to avoid a car stopped at a useless stoplight. The car honked, the driver shaking his fist angrily, and Natsuki stuck her head out the window, shouted back, "I keep it heater that pop clips with 17 or better! I'll be severin' heads, I'm in everyone's nightmare, a bitch that can never ever be scared of the—"

"Cops," Reito said as, predictably, a pair of townie cops for whom this was the excitement of their _lifetimes _swerved onto the street and turned their lights and sirens on. In response, Natsuki made a rude gesture out the window and returned her focus to the road. This was dangerous, after all.

"And I'm gonna fuck with you," she was muttering again, "Stab and brass-knuckle you, then have you in the public, there's nothing that you can do."

The police had a loudspeaker too, which they had bought with the money from a town resolution to improve their local law enforcement budget. They said, "Enough with your motherfucking tough talk, you're soft."

She shouted back, out the window, "Get your balls blew off, from my sawed-off, faw-raw dog?" And made another rude gesture. Midori was more or less convinced that she was going to die at this point.

"I'm crazier than all y'all," Natsuki continued, "what, you like the navy, when I'm angry, you'll never catch me hangin' in a lops car! All I have is thoughts of breathin' evil!"

The other thing that the cops had bought with their budget was a pair of very nice weapons. Which they pulled out and waved around for Natsuki to see. "My desert eagles will eat through people," the police shouted back. "When I see you I'ma heat your beef slow; fuck being peaceful, the piece in the vehicle and—'

"I'm gonna get my gun," Natsuki growled again.

_God, we're sink or swim here, _Midori thought. _She's gone insane, and she'll take us with her if we don't—_

"I bring it to bitches lookin' as if they want trouble," Reito intoned nobly, putting his hand on Natsuki's shoulder. "I send they body floppin' around like a stunt double. Forget about the fightin', scrapping, swabbin, bucklin', we'll squeeze the piece and they'll be jumpin', dodgin', duckin."

Natsuki smiled at Reito, who smiled back. Midori frowned. She cuffed her nuts while cussin, "Don't trust him!"

From the cops, again, "I round up Runyan, Dave, Wood, and Nico, and my boys Big I, and Mal lettin' the heat blow!"

They fired off a couple of rounds into the air in warning, and Natsuki laughed maniacally. "Heat sleep, hoes!" she screamed. "Got it in your knee-bone, cause you keep shootin' at me and missin' like Shaq's free-throws!" She stuck her finger out the window again, taunted, "You gotta get a little closer if you wanna pistol-whip a soldier with a missile on her shoulders! You can fold or blow your brick-house into some tiny boulders, a grimey older cab will give you a tiny odor, but I'm doggish; you feelin' froggish? You leap bitch, my car is right across the street, bitch, and I'M GOING TO GET MY GUN!" she screamed the last part in perverse triumph as the beach-house loomed over the horizon. The cops started firing at the car now, but hit nothing. Their guns were nice, but they had more or less zero training firing at high speeds.

Natsuki now turned to the two riding near her; Midori steeled herself, knowing she was in all the way now, ready to do whatever was necessary.

"My whole outfit count clips," Natsuki ordered. "You get the house lit up, your spouse shit, your mouse clip, but you _better _watch out, cause the slugs I'ma send…" she paused for, perhaps, drama, "You watch you hollow as the hollow-tips go through your skin."

They flew over the barrier separating the parking lot from the sand, and the three bailed out of the car. Midori privately wondered how they were planning on getting back, but she had the feeling that Natsuki had an idea. She didn't like the thought, either.

Natsuki verily flew into the little bungalow, and a moment later, the police pulled up and started shooting. Midori and Reito screamed in panic and fled for the house, as well, and a second later, Natsuki was firing back from a window, screaming, "I'M IN LOVE WITH THE SIN! Tell Bugs I'ma see him! When I cock back might put the door on your friends!"

The cops were driven back into the nearest cover—the car, and one murmured to the other, "Make a run, gotta him, bust a slug in his chin."

The other shook his head frantically as another shot _spanged _off of the car. "Ain't going nowhere! Like them drugs outta Kim!"

Meanwhile, Natsuki reloaded, and as she did, started gauging where exactly the two policemen were hiding.

"I'm a psycho icon," she muttered as she did, "a mightful might bomb; get a eyeful of lead when I slight your life out."

The two cops emerged from cover, also having reloaded, and Natsuki was driven down this time. The two fired until they were empty, and Reito asked from his position hiding in a corner and peeing himself what exactly Natsuki planned on doing.

"With my street cleaner," she indicated her gun, "Wipe they life out. Bullets gnaw at they ears like a Tyson fight bout. _Fuck _the night clout! Guns, clips…"

The two policemen emerged from the car and charged, filled with resolve, just as Natsuki finished reloading. She spotted them and actually _laughed _as their massive guns punched fist-sized holes in the cabin's thin wooden frame. "Fuck that! Run, bitch!"

Within three seconds, one of the cops was dead, and the other was at the entrance; both of them were again empty, and they rushed to reload, Natsuki shouting, "Hit the streets talks, you chumps don't know me!" She stood up in triumph and aimed her weapon at the cop. "Ain't no 'probably' getting' owned by me, homie!"

Reito continued pissing himself. Midori averted her eyes, resigned to the outcome.

The cop froze, and Natsuki, a small line of drool falling from her lip, "Dumbass motherfuckers always gotta come to me with some dumb shit!. . .Fucking. . . I done told this motherfucker…**Wassup bitch? Autograph this!"**

She pulled the trigger.

Reito flinched and a little more urine came out of his mostly desolate bladder.

Midori sighed.

The gun clicked.

The cop panicked and commenced trying to reload his weapon again.

_I'm trying to pull the trigger but it's stuck, _Natsuki thought,_ FUCK! My shit is all jammed up…UGH! C'mon you cock-sucking, good-for-nothing, mother-fucking piece of shit, shoot!_

She pulled the trigger again and the cop dropped to the ground as his head exploded backwards.

"Yeah! What up, bitch?" she screamed and pulled the trigger, this time punching a hole in his chest. "Say that shit again!" She shot, the bullet missed, hit a brick, bounced of it, ricocheted back, hit his shin.

_Payback homie, don't play that shit is spin to be on I told you to leave this shit alone or..._" I'm gonna get my gun!" she screamed triumphantly, like a wolf howling at the moon over his kill.

Midori sighed. "And it's a shame I'm to drunk to even aim," she said.

Reito stepped in the way at this point, and Natsuki, still twitchy, shot him in his leg.

"It's like…" Reito muttered as the pain took him into what could only be described as a hallucinatory "better place"; "It's like…" Midori went to his side, staring at the gaping hole in his calf in shock.

Natsuki walked over to the cop's corpse and put six more bullets into him. _Bang, bang, bang, pop pop pop._

Midori rounded on the obviously insane girl. "Everybody bustin' rounds like they 'ra, ra, ra'"! she shouted angrily, indicating the incredible state of disrepair of the cabin with an obvious lack of placidity.

Natsuki became immediately defensive. "But when you see me in the street, I be like, WHATS UP NOW! The bodyguard steppin' in, tryin' to calm shit down!"

From his spot, bleeding and pissing out on the floor, Reito shouted, "Chill out, man!"

Natsuki spat at him, "Fuck that, I got a _bone _to pick. You said it? Then we should address it like some grown men, shouldn't we?"

Midori stared at her. "What, just shoot a family and handle the situation seriously?" she said as reasonably as she could, which, to be fair, was saying very little. "I guess not, you gotta resort to the heater—"

It came to Natsuki what she had come to do: Save Shizuru. She dived back at her bag. "So I gotta get my Mac," she said absently, tuning Midori out entirely, "and my Uzi and my Nina." Midori grabbed Natsuki by the back of her shirt, trying to drag her up, and found the big gun shoved into her midriff. "You step between us," Natsuki growled, "And you get shot. I'll shoot you with this little squeeze."

"You ain't ready for war," Midori growled back. "Runyan ain't nothin' to play with."

"I'm going to get my gun." Natsuki wrenched herself from Midori's grip and went back to her task.

--

Interlude: Natsuki.

_This motherfucker's poppin' that shit, naw, fuck that, I'll be right back. Naw, motherfucker! Fuck you! You ain't disrespectin' me like that! I'm going to get my _gun!_ Walk through your room, sixteen-shot clips, _BITCH _how you like that? Bet you ain't know that I'm strapped, nice gun, BITCH THIS IS MY GAT!_

--

They were at the town Rite-Aid.

Masquerading as photo-booth operators. _Clever bastards. _Natsuki had received a call off of one of her sources a few minutes after they had piled back into the van.

Natsuki walked to Rite-aid for a can of spaghetti. She spotted the "operator"; a large, hickish man with buckteeth and a perpetually confused expression. She sauntered up to him without pretense, and pulled her gun on him. "It's been one hour, bitch," She said angrily, "My photos ain't ready. Pictures of my dog and my family reunion. It's been _two _hours," she was toying with him; he didn't know if it was a robbery or something more intricate, but he was certainly frightened. "My _fuckin' _day's ruined. Hey," she read the man's name tag with a little surprise, "_Kate_. You wanna get _raped?_ Have my pictures, or fuckin' fill this .38."

He shook his head vigorously, verily shaking in his boots. _That's why I don't be fuckin' battle-rappin', _he thought. _Every time I lose, _this _what the fuck happens._

Natsuki snapped her fingers in front of him to get his attention back where it belonged. She was ready to blow this bitch's brain out. She was nervous—she farted, and, to her horror, some shit came out. "Time's up." She shot her with her gun, and fled. She got out her cell-phone and called her contact, the Reverend Run. He answered, and she sighed.

"All this crazy shit," she said, "I regret it. All because I wanted…"

"mmm?"

"All because I wanted to see Elton John nekkid."

--End.

--

This was actually something I did in about an hour, though. Mostly for fun, because I was bored. _I _thought it was funny, anyway.


End file.
